Toddlers and Meal Times

In our house now we have two toddlers - a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Let me tell ya meal time is NEVER dull. We have all the singing, emotions, story telling, throwing of food at times and even refusing certain food items. The whole gambit can happen at our dinner table.

I wanted to bring up this topic again regarding family meal times, because we all have spent more time at home and are eating together more often as a family. I did another post back in November about family meal times and why they are important - CLICK HERE. For children, sitting down to eat together a great opportunity to learn and get to connect. We always have dinner together and talk about our day. Both of my children eat fairly well, but they also decide at times that certain foods aren’t their favorite.

I love this terminology “that food isn’t my favorite, right now.” This is a great way to phrase something if your child doesn’t want to eat something. As the parent your role, is to prepare the food and put the meal in front of the child. The child’s role is to decide how much they are going to eat. There is nothing worse, as the parent, than slaving away to cook a delish meal and have your child refuse to try it. This can often lead to an escalated and heated situation where everyone gets upset.

So how can you avoid that from happening? Or if it does happen how to do you deal with this situation?

1. Start by making sure you (as the parent) don’t over react. Keep your cool and ask why your child doesn’t want to try their food? Is it too hot? Too cold? Have they touched it? What does it feel like? Do they need help with their utensil? Try to assist them in getting ready to eat that food item.

2. If they are still refusing then ask them to take a bite. You can take a bite of their food and show them that it is good (and describe the taste, smell and texture). Then offer them the utensil and let them try. Explain that we need to try the food that is offered to us to see if we like it. It might not be our favorite food right now and that is ok. Sometimes we all have to eat some foods that aren’t our favorite right now. Even though it isn’t your favorite today, you could still learn to like it more in the future. That is why we always try a bite, to see if we like it today.

3. Having a conversation with your child, helps to reassure them that you are listening to them and hear the fact that they don’t love this food item. That is ok for them to not love something. That reassurance helps to build trust between you and your child.

I promise that if you let your child express to you why they don’t love certain food items right now that will help empower them to try new things, but also be ok with giving their opinion. We always have a bite of the food and then determine how we feel about that food item. One of the RDs I follow on Instagram, calls these “no thank you bites.” She instructs families, to have your child take a bite and then if they don’t want more they can say “no thank you.” I love that approach as well.

Know as a parent, that if you child has tried a bite of the main dish at dinner, told you that isn’t his favorite and doesn’t want any more of that food, that is ok! There will be another meal time and they will have a chance to eat food again. They are the ones that can decide how much they eat! Work to try avoid using the terminology “you don’t like that” or “you are being picky",” because your child will start to believe those things. Our goal should be to encourage and empower your child to decide how much they want to eat. Keep offering those foods that “aren’t their favorite” to them and pair with some preferred foods. You are doing an amazing job as a parent. It can be hard at times, but hopefully these tips are helpful and encouraging for you to keep offering those challenging foods.

Family Meal Time

I have spoke about family meal time before, but I was sitting at our dining room table last night and I was looking around at my wonderful family and thought I should bring up the importance of family meals. Spending this time together as a family is so valuable to the development of our children and fostering positive relationships. I actually wrote up a blog post on this topic in the summer. I was watching my youngest son and his interaction with the rest of the family and it made me realize how important this time together is for all of us. I have spoken about baby led weaning before and I think that this part of family meal times helps SO much with food acceptance.

Family meal times teaches how we as humans sit down and communicate over a meal. My almost 2 year old was watching us talk about our day and wanting to chime in with his own thoughts and noises. We always ask our almost 4 year old how his day was and what he did at daycare. Now our little guy (whose almost 2 years old) is babbling and wanting to chat with us as well. I wanted to share this to encourage you to make sure your kiddos are having that uninterrupted time with you at the dinner table. Our total amount of time eating together maybe lasts 20 minutes at the most, but that is still valuable. Some days I am able to make a delicious homemade meal and other nights it is frozen foods that have been heated up … the main point of dining together is the togetherness, not what is being served.

Another example of that family time helping to teach children how to behave, how to communicate, but always how to try new things. My almost 2 year old was very eager to mimic and try things like his older brother. He would look over and watch his brother and then pick up the same food and try it. This time and ability for him to watch and learn from his brother is important for his development and food acceptance.

In some of my work with outpatient follow up at the hospital, I have chatted with families about how to start solids with their babies. The first thing I emphasize is getting a high chair and having their child at the table for meal time. Give them foods at meal time, when everyone else is at the table. They are part of the family and sitting down together to eat is what your family should do at least once a day.

Hopefully this posts encourages you, whether you have small children or teenagers, to sit down at the table a share a meal together. It could even be enjoying take out from your favorite restaurant, but take a moment and sit together as a family and talk.

Family Meal Times

Here in 2020 we find ourselves with LOTS more time at home and that means more family meal time! Whether you like it or not, there are more dishes and more meals to be eaten inside your own home. That can be overwhelming for families, because lots of people are seeing an increase in grocery spending and trying to figure out how to cook/prepare food. Even some food prices have increased and that has bumped up grocery budgets.

So what does this mean for you as a parent in regards to family meal time? Have you felt additional pressure to cook and sit down to eat together? Have you felt at a lost and frustrated by always feeling like a chef + all your other responsibilities? I am right there with ya. Some days I felt like I spent my entire day preparing meals and snacks for my family.

I wanted to provide you with some information to help encourage you that this time and effort you are spending in the kitchen is worth it! There have been a variety of studies done looking at family meal times and behavioral outcomes in children. An article in JAMA looked at adolescents while making good life choices (avoiding tobacco, drugs, alcohol) and correlation with those behaviors and family meal time. This article found that families who ate together more often had an inverse relationship with adolescents participating in those questionable behaviors (using tobacco, drugs, alcohol). So eating together meant these youth didn’t participate as much in smoking, drug abuse, etc activities. Other studies have shown that family meal times increase consumption of healthier food items (like fruits and vegetables) for the parents and children. These families also have a more positive outlook on life and more positive self esteem, which is an interesting finding. This article from the New York Times provides some great encouragement for sitting down together as a family at the dinner table. For teens, the more often they are able to sit down with their parents, this provides additional opportunities for communication and building relationships. I know this even holds true for my 3 year old, he loves to sit down and tell me about his day. We tend to do talk more around the dinner table and it is his chance to talk and just be the center of our undistracted attention.

Family Meal Tips

1. Write Out a Meal Plan: It is often tough each night to stress about what you have in your pantry and what you are doing to prepare. Taking a moment to write down some ideas of what you want to cook will help throughout the week when it comes time to cook. You can use this meal plan list to help create a shopping list and then also cross off meals as you make them throughout the week.

2. Incorporate Your Family (in food preparation and clean up): I need to get better about this, but I often try to do it all on my own. My 3 year old loves to help, but he often makes a mess and that makes more work for me, but I am going to work to have him help more. It is important to have him involved so that he learns and then appreciates the hard work that goes into cooking for a family. Sometimes I put off cleaning up from dinner, because I value having time to play with my kids and get them ready for bed, that’s ok too. Find a routine that works for your family where everyone helps and contributes.

3. Branch Out of Your Comfort Zone: Try new recipes and new foods! Pinterest is amazing for recipes and you can find any recipe online. Try to push yourself outside your comfort zone and add 1 new recipe to your weekly menu. Save that recipe and if you end up liking it you can add it to your meal rotation.

4. Stimulating Conversation: Take this time to sit down together and talk. Discuss upcoming things you want to do together as a family, how your day was, things that you are worried about or things that make you happy. Find the positive to all this time together and get to know your family better.

Trying to look at the positive side of this pandemic is an opportunity to bond and build closer relationships with our family. That time together around the dinner table is priceless and won’t last forever. Savor those moments, don’t get too upset about all the cooking and cleaning and be present with your family in the moment.