Take Time for You!

I wanted to write about self love and taking time for you! I know that seems kind of crazy during this time in the world, writing about loving yourself, but this is important now more than ever. We (as people, as parents, as employees, as family members) are tired and we are stressed. We are in the midst of a pandemic, we have civil rights issues we need to address as a country, we are wondering about school plans for the fall, job security, etc and we need to make it through this marathon. These issues are going to be present in our lives for a long time and we need to make it to the other side. For us to be able to do that, we need to learn to take time for ourselves. We need to learn to love ourselves and give ourselves what we need to keep fighting these battles on a daily basis.

I have had the opportunity to have a week off of work. I also have childcare (which is a blessing). So I sent my children to their amazing daycare lady’s house and I had a week to myself. A whole 5 days where I could do whatever I wanted for the day. I haven’t had that opportunity since I have had children (3.5 years ago). I chose not to feel guilty about taking this week for myself. I love my children and I have spent lots of time with them during quarantine. Looking back over this week, I am SO glad I made time for myself. I needed this refuel time. I was able to paint our garage (yes, that is a thing) and I learned how to fix small dry wall holes and about different finishes of paint. I was able to go for a run multiple days. I walked my dog countless times. I drank my coffee hot. I went to the store a couple of times without having to rush home (while wearing a mask and avoiding people). I re-finished a coffee table for our living room. I ordered some shelving for our garage. I cleaned the basement. I got our library cards. I got our cars registered in new state. I got the dog’s nails trimmed. I read a book. I did the laundry. I relaxed and drank beer with my lunch.

I love doing these types of projects and getting stuff done. Those things I listed above provided me with so much happiness. I felt so accomplished. I was able to relax some and I never felt bad about it. I needed some self love and to remind myself that I am that same person I was before children. That person who loves creative projects, learning new things and has energy to tackle a To Do List. I was able to just hang out with my family over the weekend and I even put off the grocery store trip, because it was stressing me out.

So after hearing all these things I did with my free time, how have you learned to love yourself? You might not be able to take a week away from your children and that’s ok. Also you may hate projects and this list of things I did, stresses you out. That is fine if that isn’t your jam. Find things that make you feel happy and enlightened. What are you able to do each day to show and remind yourself that you are amazing?! Taking some time for you goes a long way in keeping your attitude positive and encouraging you through this crazy time in the world.

This self love is important for you, but also sharing that love with your partner matters as well. I was chatting with my husband about how proud of him I was and that he does a great job. Then I reminded him that he needs to love himself. I will always be that cheerleader for him, but he needs to turn that love and support inwards and love himself too. How you view yourself impacts your outlook on your life. So plan some time (it can even be a 20 minute bath or face mask session) to dedicate to you and don’t feel bad about it. Embrace that need to take time for you and find those things that make you happy.

Loving Yourself

I have seen a couple of posts recently by women who were mentioning how they didn’t like certain parts of their bodies and how they felt uncomfortable with themselves. It broke my heart. I am a firm believer in helping people to understand that they need to love themselves. All of themselves, including the imperfections. I know LOTS of men and women would appreciate being able to change things about themselves. None of us are perfect and even the images we see of people (who appear perfect), aren’t. Rachel Hollis had a great quote at one of her Rise Conferences, pointing to herself she said “there is a whole team behind this!” That is true … for us normal people, there is no team to do our hair, put on make up, pick out our clothes or do our nails. That is not real or normal. So don’t waste your time comparing yourself to those people.

If you happen to be a parent, how you view yourself is even more important. Your children are watching you. They are watching ever single thing you say, gesture your make and they are wanting to be just like you. If you are complaining about how you don’t like your thighs, refuse to wear a swimsuit because you feel fat, or are always on a diet to try to lose 5-10lbs, they will pick up on that. Another RDN that I follow on social media is always encouraging moms to demonstrate self-love and acceptance for their daughters. This is SO important. I had a mother who wasn’t perfect, but loved herself and that helped me to develop a positive self image of my own. Demonstrating to our children to how to love ourself matters. This RDN shared that her daughter went swim suit shopping with her and they were trying on suits in the Target changing room and her daughter smiled and told her “that swim suit made her look beautiful!” That little girl loves her mom so much that she wasn’t noticing extra skin, stretch marks or some cellulite. She saw our beautiful her mom was and she told her that. That made my heart smile! That is what we need more of, loving ourselves like our family loves us, despite the imperfections.

If you aren’t a parent, this still pertains to you. Loving yourself and every part of you has an impact on your outlook on life. People who are happier live longer. Our lives are short and so let’s make those moments we have happy. I am not saying that we abandon on self control and gorge ourselves on donuts, but we embrace that we aren’t perfect, do the best we can and love ourselves through those struggles and short comings.

So please, avoid any negative self talk about yourself. Don’t call yourself fat. Don’t look in the mirror and put yourself down. If that is a struggle for you, keep your mirror in a place where you aren’t always passing it. Avoid that negative self talk and instead focus on giving yourself a compliment. Practice this on your family and friends - compliment others on how they look today, thank someone for their help, be kind to others and then practice that same positivity on yourself.

We all face enough challenges and things that stress us out in the world. We don’t need to be our own worst enemy and put extra negative pressure on ourselves. So find a way to love yourself this week and give yourself some positive, self talk, because you are amazing and wonderful, just the way you are!

Finding The Calm

This post is not directly connected with nutrition, but I felt like I needed to write up something on this topic of anxiety. I think this topic of mental health is not talked about enough and I feel like taking the time to make sure that you are well cared for is important.

I am not sure if you have ever struggled with anxiety. The crazy thing about emotions is that they feel so different for each one of us. The same is true with anxiety. We can all feel anxious or worry about things in different ways. Those concerns can manifest in different ways. Even for the same person, those anxious tendencies can show up in different ways depending on the stressor. I think the key is becoming familiar with yourself and understanding how your body handles stress.

For me, when I feel anxious my entire body reacts to that stress. I get butterflies and my stomach starts to feel nervous. I become nauseated and then from there my body tenses up and my body starts to ache. I normally lose my appetite and can’t eat anything. I have a dry mouth and can’t really consume much besides water. If these feelings persist for an extended period of time then I normally end up getting sick. Thankfully these episodes don’t happen super frequently, but when they do they totally wipe me out for at least a day. The crazy thing is some times I have no idea what the trigger is. For example, I could wake up at that 4am with a queasy stomach and have no idea my I am feel nervous. My body is just obviously stressed and starting to get worked up.

Over the years, I have learned how my own personal anxiety cycle works and that has been helpful in managing it. I can probably count on two hands over the last 20 years the number of times these episodes have happened, but they are never fun and definitely frustrating. Maybe you have similar tendencies when it comes to being anxious or maybe your feelings manifest in a totally different way. The key to managing this stress response is to be embrace it and not to be scare of it.

Managing Those Anxious Feelings

• Deep, calming breathing. This has been the most helpful at night when I find myself worked up about something. Long, deep breathes in and out (just like in yoga) are helpful to help remind your body to calm down and snap out of that “fight or flight” response.

• Don’t fear the symptoms. I hate throwing up and that is one of the symptoms with my anxiety that I experience if I get really worked up. I keep having to work to not fear that symptom and just embrace it and then move on.

• Focus on other things. Often taking that focus away from myself and looking to care for others helps. Those anxious feelings are centered on you and your responses and so when you pull yourself away from that focus and turn that outwards it can help break that anxiety cycle.

• Pray. This has been very helpful for me. I am religious and believe in God and praying for help, support and calming has been very helpful to be over the years. Believing in someone bigger than myself, looking after me, is very reassuring.

• Understand and love yourself. Even if you dislike and are frustrated by how you handle your anxiety, you have to learn to love yourself. Even those parts of yourself that you wish were different. Embracing and loving yourself is key to helping to overcome your worries and concerns.

• Have your support system. Have those people around you who can love you, hug you and remind you that it is ok. You are not alone and these worries shall pass. Those people who you can be honest with and tell them that you are struggling and they can help support you when you need that love.

In the end, no matter what you are amazing and if you struggle with anxiety that is fine. Embrace that part of you, learn how those feelings manifest in your life and work to better control your responses to stress. So much of life you can’t control and the only person we have control over, is ourselves. We all have good days and bad days. In the end, the goal is that those good days far extend the number of bad days.

I wanted to share this to let you know that none of us are perfect. We all have our struggles and you aren’t alone. Whether you work to control your anxiety on your own, if you see a therapist, if you take medication, all these tools can help you be the best version of yourself. If you ever need to reach out and a person to talk to … let me know.

Self Goals

What goals do you have for yourself? When was the last time that you took a moment and ask yourself that question? These goals can be personal goals, career goals, fitness goals, etc. I am a firm believer in always learning and moving towards a goal. We are on this earth for a short amount of time and I really believe strongly in leaving things better than before we found them. So that is what prompts me to ask you … what goals do you have for yourself.

For the last two years I have done a Year End Review here on my blog and you can see the 2018 Year End Review and then the 2017 Summary. I tried to put together a year end review looking at what I had done over the last 12 months. I think that is great and the start to another year is the perfect time to think ahead and reflect on the year past. But here at the end of May, start of June and the beginning of the summer … why not take a moment and look at yourself and see what goals you want to accomplish and what things have you maybe already done! I have decided to go through and make some sections and then list out things that I have been working on and things that I have accomplished already in 2019. Take the time to think through what categories you have and what goals you want to accomplish for yourself.

Personal Goals

• Read a book. I know this sounds super simple, but I have such limited free time that I haven’t read many books for fun. I did take the time during my maternity to read the Rachel Hollis book, Girl Wash Your Face and it was fantastic. I really enjoy reading and loved take the time to read that book.

• I would like to read another book for fun in 2019 … if you have any good suggestions, send them my way.

Career Goals

• Present at FNCE in Philadelphia. This is happening and I have to admit this was such a crazy journey to make this presentation pitch and I am still over the moon that our proposal was chosen and I can’t wait to speak at FNCE!

• Complete the Certified Lactation Counselor course. This training is happening in November and I am planning on attending that conference and taking that lactation exam so I can work more with mothers who are breast feeding and/or pumping.

• Grow Mini Minds Nutrition Counseling. i have been working hard to try to grow some clients for Mini Minds and provide more outpatient nutrition counseling. I have worked with three families now and taught two classes. I would love to continue to do more so if you know anyone who would benefit from nutrition counseling, send them my way!

Fitness Goals

• Run in at least one race in 2019. My sister is planning to come into town in August and we are going to run a race together! It is a 10K and so not super long, but that is fine, because training takes time and I seem to have limited hours in the day. I would love to commit to a half marathon, but I am not sure that realistic for 2019. I will see how getting back into running is going and maybe by spring of 2020 I will be ready to race 13.1 miles again.

• See a Women’s Health PT. I need to schedule to see a women’s health PT and work on abs after having Samuel and then my pelvic floor strength again. I did this after William and it was worth all the time and money.

This isn’t a crazy long list of goals, but just somethings I have been thinking about and taking them time to write out these goals helps to increase your odds of accomplishing them. So take a moment and think about what you would like to accomplish for yourself, write down those goals and then set out to accomplish them!